Week 10 The Magic Six Hours

            Can six hours in a week really be the difference in a marriage that is happy and fulfilling or a marriage that dwindles and dies? Starting this week my husband and I have committed to improve our marriage by implementing “The Six Magic Hours” into our week.  

            Following up with couples who attended Gottman's Seattle workshops those who's marriages were continuing to improve were only spending an extra six hours a week on their marriages. There were something’s each of these couples seems to have in common. Gottman has coined them the Magic Six Hours. (Gottman, 278)

            1- Partings: 10 minutes a week. Learn one thing about your spouse’s day at your parting in the morning. Some mornings we don’t even see each other, so we’ve made a plan to wake and see each other off so we can have this time together.

            2- Reunions: 1 hour, 40 minutes. A kiss lasing at least 6 seconds, and a 20 minute stress-reducing conversation. According to Gottman a stress reducing conversation should be about issues outside of marriage. Gottman gives 8 things we should do in stress reducing conversations: take turns, show genuine interest, don't give unsolicited advice, communicate your understanding, take your partner's side, express a "we against others" attitude, show affection, and validate emotions.

            3- Affection: 35 minutes.  Show affection for each other when you are together throughout the day.

            4- Weekly date: 2 hours. While you're together ask each other open-ended questions. In the January 2012 Ensign Douglas Brinley share the importance of a weekly date night with your spouse. "You and your spouse need time together to renew your relationship. New perspectives come with time away from the mundane. That means dating is essential. If you have children but few resources, look for creative ways to go on dates. For example, you might ask in-laws or neighbors to watch your children while you two get away for a mini vacation. You might exchange childcare with other couples for different date nights. Above all, recognize that a babysitter is cheaper than a divorce" (Brinley, 1). 
 
            5- State of the union meeting: 1 hour. Talk about your relationship this week. Not last week, or six years ago. Start with stating at least five positives, and be specific. Next, discuss any issues. As we have reflected on how to use “The Magic Six Hours” to improve our marriage, we both feel having a State of the union meeting would help. We have carved out an hour on Sunday evening to have our meeting.



 

Brinley, Douglas. "What Happily Married Couples Do." Lds.org. Ensing, Jan. 2012. Web. 28 Nov. 2016.

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. New York:

Crown.