We have to let our children fail!
Yes! That’s right I said it, we have to let our children fail!
It’s heartbreaking to watch, and definitely frustrating sometimes but I believe it really is what some children in the world are missing.
This past weekend we packed up the Suburban and headed out for hours upon hours of basketball. Don’t get me wrong, since the purchase of a bleacher seat, watching my children play ball is one of my favorite things to do. My daughter had played a good season, she had really gotten in and practiced hard, she improved her endurance, she improved her ball handling, and her post moves. She had put in the hours, the coaches had taught these girls so much, and the team was looking great!
Since my post started with the importance of failing, you can imagine the tournament didn’t go how these girls or coaches wanted it to go. During a very tired (they played at 9:45pm), and frustrating game I started yelling very un-basketball messages to my daughter.
“Be Resilient!” Yes! Sometimes I use my big words! We must teach our children to rise above disappointment, and failure.
“You’re not a victim!” It’s so easy to blame others when we are not doing our best! Life is NOT fair, there will ALWAYS be bad calls!
“Show up!” Sometimes in life it’s so easy to put our heads down and go with the flow. It takes so much more to show up and make a difference.
I’m sure others in the crowd thought I had lost it! If I had to sit and watch my child struggle, I was sure gonna try and teach a life lesson along the way. See basketball isn’t just about basketball its about learning to work together, to do our part, to learn to follow the rules, to deal with unfair circumstances, and to deal with difficult people. Isn’t that really what basketball is all about?
I know this will not be the only time when she will face failure, or disappointment. I know there will be days ahead when things will not go her way, and I want her to know the sun will come up tomorrow! I know my own failings have shaped me into who I am, and they also taught me how to win humbly. When we allow our children to face disappointments, then we lift them and help teach them after, we are setting our children up to be strong resilient adults!